Of Tears and Rain: The Living Hostages Are Home
Our national nightmare is over.
All the living hostages are home.
Not all of the bodies have been returned and there is still much that is uncertain, but all the living hostages – let me correct myself – all the living former hostages – are home.
If you have not already said the blessing for the release of captives, please join me:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם מַתִּיר אֲסוּרִים:
Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, Who releases those who are held captive.
Like I’m sure many of you, I watched and I watched as our brothers were set free, as crowds cheered in Hostage Square, as families reunited.
Elation doesn’t quite do it justice.
Singing, hugging, kissing, wailing.
Our souls stirred and our bodies quaked.
Many of us wept; some of us could not.
As Elie Wiesel writes in Night there are times when emotions are fully exhausted. When the simple act of crying is itself beyond reach. “It pained me that I could not weep,” he writes, “But I had no more tears”.
For most of us though, Psalms had it right. פַּלְגֵי־מָיִם יָרְדוּ עֵינָי – My tears flowed like streams of water.
Two years – From Shmini Atzeret 5784 to Hoshanah Rabbah (which means the great saving) 5786 – Two years of rallying, hoping, lobbying, praying. Two years our whole people waited for this day – a day that has – baruch Hashem – finally arrived.
Join me with hearts full of nothing but joy:
הוֹדוּ לַייָ כִּי־טוֹב כִּי לְעוֹלָם חַסְדּוֹ
הוֹדוּ לַייָ כִּי־טוֹב כִּי לְעוֹלָם חַסְדּוֹ
Praise the LORD for He is good;
His steadfast love is eternal.
And yet our tears reveal a truth beyond joy alone. As Rachel Polin Goldberg said so powerfully on Saturday night, she has been “flooded with messages… drenched in confusion.”
Her favourite message read, “I am happy but so sad but happy but so sad.”
Polin Goldberg explained to the crowd that during Sukkot we chant the book of Kohelet, Ecclesiastes. She says about this book – and I’m going to quote this remarkable, eloquent, powerhouse of a woman at length:
It explains to us the futility of life. That there will be different moments in this life that seem diametrically opposed to each other. But each of those situations will have specific occasions to be experienced. And so in chapter 3, we are told there is a season for everything and a time for everything.
But now today we are being asked to digest all of those seasons, all of those times at the exact same second. Winter, spring, summer, fall. Experience all four right now.
It says there is a time to be born and a time to die. And we have to do both right now. It says there's a time to weep and a time to laugh and we have to do both right now. It says there is a time to hug and a time to hold back from hugging. And we have to do both right now. It says there is a time to tear and a time to heal. And we have to do both right now. It says there is a time to be silent and a time to speak. And we have to do both right now. And it says there's a time to sob. And there's a time to dance and we have to do both right now.
Her speech reminded me of Jacob’s encounter with Rachel.
וַיִּשַּׁק יַעֲקֹב לְרָחֵל וַיִּשָּׂא אֶת־קֹלוֹ וַיֵּבְךְּ
Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and broke into tears.
He cries, Radak explains, because after such a long period apart, the emotional cup of these relatives runs over. Their feelings of bliss materialize into tears of joy.
And he cries, Sforno teaches, because Jacob wished that he had been with Rachel earlier. Jacob cries for lost time.
And he cries, Rashi expounds, because even though they are finally together, he knows that the road ahead will be difficult – that their journeys cannot be fully aligned.
Jacob’s are tears of joy, and of sadness, and of foreboding.
Our tears as well contain multitudes. We are enraptured with delight by the hostages’ return. And we are distraught as we commemorate the second yahrzeit of Oct 7. And we are gravely concerned about the resurgence of Hamas as a governing force in Gaza.
It is with these tears that we call on God from the words of Tehillim:
שִׂימָה דִמְעָתִי בְנֹאדֶךָ הֲלֹא בְּסִפְרָתֶךָ
Put my tears into Your flask, [place them] into Your record.
Let not these hard-earned tears be forgotten. Remember them. Hold them close. As joyful, as grateful, as we are at this moment, please let the cup that has over and again been filled, and filled, and filled with our tears finally be full.
We never want to cry like this ever again.
Shortly, we will chant the prayer for rain – a call, if you will, for God’s own tears.
From this day onward in the Amidah we include the wordsמַשִּׁיב הָרוּחַ וּמוֹרִיד הַגֶּשֶׁם – Who causes the wind to blow and the rain to fall.
Why are these words recited as part of the Amidah’s paragraph that concludes בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְהֹוָה מְחַיֵּה הַמֵּתִים – Blessed are you God, who brings the dead back to life?
In the Talmud, Rav Yosef explains that the sages placed the two together because, rainfall, in his words “is equivalent to the resurrection of the dead”.
Rain brings what is dormant back to life. It enables that which we thought gone forever to return.
בָּרוּךְ… מְחַיֵּה הַמֵּתִים .
Blessed are you God, who gives lives a second chance.
That is what we want today.
We pray for a new beginning for the former hostages and their families. A chance to recover, to heal, to move forward in their new lives.
We pray for a new beginning in the region. An opportunity to rebuild the convictions and the governments of our neighbours near and far.
We pray for a new beginning here in Canada. For healing here where it can take place and for steadfastness where it cannot.
With Yizkor, we bring the memories of our loved ones to the forefront of our hearts. We bring them to life inside of us. They inhabit our soul.
A personal מְחַיֵּה הַמֵּתִים.
Our tradition calls the heart a room of many chambers. I know you will be filling them with the memories of your loved one. As you recite Yizkor, in one of those spaces, please hold the memories of the twelve hundred people murdered whose second yahrzeit we observe today, as well.
May the memories of your loved ones together with the memories of the fallen forever be for a blessing.
